Today I am 14 weeks, which means I have officially entered into the second trimester. Woohoo! I am one-third of the way there to see and hold my baby. I would like to reflect back on my first trimester and throw the deuces up (that means peace out!). Now remember, this is just my story and my journey. Don’t let it scare you.
From the day I found out I was pregnant I have been nothing but sick. The term morning sickness is so misguiding. It really should be called all day sickness, at least for me. Before I was 9 weeks I wasn’t so bad. In fact after 9 weeks I would look back into earlier in my pregnancy and say “If I can just go back to those days, I would be eternally grateful”. I was not ready for all the of the nausea, dehydration, vomiting, constipation, gas, headaches, dizziness, no appetite, etc. Most pregnancy stories I had heard (which were not many) were stories of “I never threw up” or “I was only a little sick” or “I’m only sick during this time of the day or if I don’t eat”. I was so envious of these people. I was sick and miserable and pretty much bed ridden. Looking back in the last 14 weeks I have only gone out twice! Pile all of this on top of crazy hormones. I was depressed. Literally.
That is very hard for me to admit. I always thought a women should enjoy her pregnancy and be so grateful. I think those are two separate issues that I now understand. You can not enjoy your pregnancy and still be so incredibly grateful and happy for your little one. That was the limbo I was in. I was still depressed. I saw no end in sight, and I just wanted to feel better and be a better wife. This was the last few months of us being alone anyhow. I’ve been so incredible lucky of how supportive, loving, caring, and just all around their for me Rick has been. I don’t know how I would have gone through this pregnancy alone. Single mothers, I salute you, and I don’t even have the baby yet!
12 weeks came and everyone said I’d feel better. That didn’t happen. That especially made me realize every pregnancy is different. So again, don’t let me story scare you. I really hope the best to all preggers out there! I am now in my second trimester, and this is my next shadow of hope. I am crossing my fingers to magically feel better and enjoy the best three months of pregnancy, so they say. If not, then maybe I am one of the
unlucky few who remains sick throughout their entire pregnancy. As I always say to Rick and I’ve stated in my blog “Nothing comes easy for me. My life is just too interesting”. Ha!
On a lighter and brighter note, I have been incredibly blessed that my baby has been perfectly healthy. That goes above and beyond any bad or sick day. I also felt flutters for the first time at week 13! I am dying to feel them again. I love my little baby so much and I can’t wait for whats to come this trimester; a growing belly, feeling my baby, talking and playing music for my baby, and to know the gender.